Monday 23 March 2009

Peanutbuttereggdirt au gratin

My dearests, I'm afraid I'm having another peanutbuttereggdirt day today, exacerbated by the fact that the article I wanted to write about this morning, that I've been saving as a draft until I could come to terms with all the deliciousness I wanted to express about it, has disappeared. The Nation newspaper has switched over to a new format, and apparently, "How to Redirect Your Links and Establish Archives" isn't being covered until next semester, along with "RSS Feeds: Actually Important" and "Making Links Clickable 101".

And since I have a really busy week ahead to which there is as yet no rhyme or reason, I'm using my Monday and this space to utter random things and clear my head. To wit:

Shivnarine Chanderpaul
> Andrew Strauss

What rabid strain of delusion are the creators of this show suffering to think they can recreate the insane awesomeness that is Absolutely Fabulous?

When I buy a house, it shall have a lanai, and The Lanai shall be the Sacred Place where my family/group of friends/whoever the hell is living there goes to resolve conflicts and gain perspective, just like the Golden Girls did. It shall also be the place whose better light we use to answer the question "What is that? Like...a rash...or a bunch or pimples or...?"

Ah these Londoners and their 'T-shirt weather', which is apparently anything warmer than 'arctic blast'.

What the hell kind of g-ddamn Spring is this? Outside looks like a scene from Pan's Labyrinth.

It would be great if a funding proposal could consist of just the words: "Me bright. You send money. Me do things."

How can I already have my year planned right up to Christmas? Man, 2009 is going to be the shortest year ever.

If another person pulls that "equality means never having to say you're sorry for hitting back a woman"* bullshit I'm going to eat Aretha Franklin's hat.

There's a bird in our little lagoon whose call sounds exactly like a snore. Or maybe she's watching a Clive Owen film.

Yogurt is what evil would taste like.

Guy pushing the stroller: I can see you have an infant in your giant, starship Enterprise pram, but as much as I would love to fling myself into oncoming traffic to accommodate you, I don't think room to tiptoe along the edge of the pavement is too much to ask.

Chuck Bass wants to eat my soul. Don't look directly at him!

I'm sure there's more stuff in there. But I think I have to get on with life now.

*Much more on this in a subsequent post.

4 comments:

  1. I am now beginning to suss you out, we are like poles apart - Clive Owen for me is da bomb! Especially in his BMW series...

    Yoghurt is evil? I guess you not in Bim and cannot savor PHD's flavours.

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  2. Mar, thank you SO much!
    I was having a grumpy period day, and now I'm laughing out loud :)
    Rachel (here from Shakesville)

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  3. I am glad that you mentioned the man with the pram...MY expereince so far has been with alot of women who refuse to share even a fraction of the sidewalk. Pisses me off...especially when I am returning from the supermarket caryying six bags in each hand and balancing one on my head, while they are swinging their empty hands.

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  4. Rachel, you have no idea how pleased I am that my random silliness could do you this service. Lol.

    Grainjah, how could they be swinging their empty hands if they're pushing a pram? Ha! But yes, you're right. I'm always ready to help out a person with a child, but I'd like just a modicum of consideration too.

    Ian, I find Clive Owen the same wooden, expressionless character who must depend on odd inflections of his voice rather than complex interpretation of his role in order to get the job done. The BMW short films were no exception.

    He didn't stand in the way of my enjoyment of Children of Men, which was quite good. And on Inside Man he was miles better. So I suppose there's hope. But I may need to add him to Will Smith, Nick Cage, Samuel Jackson and others in the "painfully overrated" category. I stay away from plenty films because of that crowd.

    PHD pineapple yogurt was in fact the very one that gave me nightmares. There's one organic brand I can stomach, and I cook with greek yogurt, which is more like sour cream. Other than that, you can have my share.

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