Tuesday, 14 April 2009

If it breaks your penis, it might not be a good idea

Explicit and potentially triggering content below.

I suppose I should be sorry that these fools are breaking their penises over this nonsense. But as I read the article, I think, if this sexual act is rough enough to fracture a man's penis against his female partner's pubic bone, it can't be any picnic for the woman. And even if no one is going to the hospital on a given occasion, how is it physically pleasurable for a woman to be violently and repeatedly 'stabbed' in this way? Well that's easy: it isn't.

"(So) during very rigorous intercourse, the penis slips out and in an attempt to ram it back in, the man hits the woman's pubic bone and pops the penis."

Ouch. There's rough sex, and then there's this.

For years, Caribbean music has reflected men's apparent belief that sexual prowess and - by their extension, masculinity - was defined by a violent approach to heterosexual sex. This has in some instances been encouraged by women DJs who competed with their male counterparts not on the basis of musical talent, of 'killing a sound' as the men have done, but by highlighting their own sexual freedom and bravado: their capacity to - in sexual and other implied terms - take whatever the men could dish out. So that while we've had songs like Cabin Stabbin from Super Cat et al, we've also had Stab Up Mi Meat from Lady Saw. Now arguably, the thrusting act that might be a part of sexual intercourse could be described as stabbing, if one were given to violent metaphors, which - given the prevalence of actual, criminal, sexual violence perpetrated both within and outside of relationships - I for one am not. But it seems like we're consumed with encouraging as much violence in sex as possible. 'Stabbing' has become too tame; now we have to call it 'daggering'.

And let's be honest: the whole stabbing/daggering sex simulation as a part of nightclub dancing* is nothing new. Caribbean dancing to calypso and reggae, while very creative, is very sexual in nature. Growing up, there was always the idiot in the club who - unsummoned - would decide to suddenly ram his pelvis against you, because somehow you blinked and this became acceptable behaviour in which two strangers might engage. It was odious, unacceptable, and what I would characterise as assault. At that time, though, and among my friends and most people present, he was shoved off, glared at by men and women alike, and in many cases removed by security. But there were too many times when in other instances, I witnessed other women being similarly treated, and their reaction was just to grimace and wait for it to be over, lest they be accused of being prudish or 'soft'. Now, though, it seems this kind of 'dancing' is being glorified more and more, causing officials in Jamaica enough concern to ban music in which it is featured.

Of course, two adults can decide jointly whether they want to engage in sexual behaviour that might break parts of their person. But I wonder how many women out there are grinning and bearing it just like those women in the clubs did those years ago, and still do.

*The videos below feature the music by RDX and Mr. Vegas that helped make this activity famous.
The final video features RDX live in concert, giving their own version of daggering. It is extremely explicit and this is a trigger warning.


  1. looking at the third video all i can say is we live in a sad sad world

  2. I am all to familiar with this and I consider it a form of assault to have some man assume that it is acceptable to shove his groin in your behind as part of a dance routine. Dancing with someone does not give them license to touch you. I have been called uptight on more than on occasion and this is exactly why I only dance with my unhusband, I am not going to be some mans human sex toy because it is set to music.

  3. Dumb question: can a penis really break? What, exactly, is breaking? There's no bone or cartilage. I can imagine that slamming it into something hard would be painful and could burst blood vessels, but I don't get the breaking.

  4. Jess, it's more properly called a fracture, and "can occur when there is trauma to the erect penis, resulting in rupture of the lining of the cylinder (corpus cavernosum) in the penis that becomes engorged with blood during an erection. This very painful injury is often accompanied by an audible cracking sound, followed immediately by dark bruising of the penis due to blood escaping the cylinder."

  5. Well, how else does one not be gay than to become violently heterosexual?

    This is what happens when hatred of homosexuality has turned "normal" into "moral" and they barely get the irony.

    If this kind of thing is not an abomination I don't know what it is. At least some people had the good sense to call it for what it is (the Jamaican government)--lewd and obscene.

    But again, how can you tell a youth who grew up on a steady diet of songs about chi-chi men or batty men (and how worthy of death they are) that the answer is not to be extremely "heterosexual" to the point of violence?

    You can't.

    This was a train coming a long, long time ago and building up speed.

  6. And those idiot women are lining up to be punished like this. That girl in the last video couldn't even walk properly after that guy was finished with her.


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